Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Just Say It
Has anyone else noticed how a lot of people out there are really REALLY passive aggressive? I don't know if it has to do with the fear of confrontation or that it's just the cool way to act, but as I have gotten older/wiser I'm just over it. I used to see it all the time at the good ole finance place I used to work because most of the time my office was staffed with females. GASP...I know I'm throwing my own kind under the bus, but I must say most of my interaction with passive aggressiveness experiences happened to be with females. You know the silent treatment...or the slamming a door...throwing papers down...the furious texting...all types of being passive aggressive. I am definitely not one that jumps at having a conflict, but I do not run from it either. I more or less pick my battles and if it really bothers me I will let you know so we can resolve the issue. I just hate having that tension in the air for something petty. I guess with my life changing so much with having a baby I really don't want to waste or spend my time with people who act like that because I feel life is too short to always be worried where I stand with that person. Quality over quantity, right? So what do you think...is it the fear of confrontation or is it just much easier to make snide comments under your breath?
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Our opinions about life definitely change after we have a baby. Quality over quantity for sure.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Natalie! I have given up on my passive aggressiveness. I had previously used it because I was being immature (shock, horror, awe) and didn't want to admit that I was upset/angry/hurt by something that someone did. Now, I just say how I feel, skip the drama, and move forward. Super simple!
ReplyDeleteI think it's easier to be passive aggressive now because of e-communication. Younger generations aren't actually learning how to work things out anymore (for the most part) it's sad.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post and SO true in many ways!!! I can't stand the passive aggressiveness either...but I'm one to pick my battles. If its worth me getting upset over...its worth me saying something about it!
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's having kids or that I'm getting wiser in my years, but I'm so over drama! I agree, quality over quantity. It was hard to remove some people from my life, but I know I am better for it!
ReplyDeleteLove this!! Since being married I have definitely been better about standing up for myself and being less passive aggressive. Being completely honest with my husband all the time has rubbed off, I'm like that with pretty much everyone now.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes there are girls that just intimidate the crap out of me and I'm terrified to ever have to stand up to them hahaha! Maybe once I'm a mother that will make me brave up :)
Been there and hate it too!! You are so right on about the workplace. Ugh, I have stories and it's beyond ridiculous they way grown people can act so childish. Don't even get me started b/c I won't stop!!
ReplyDeleteI find FB has some of the most passive-aggressiveness I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteI'm blunt. Rarely PA. If you don't like what I have to say, oh well. :)
I think it's both - people are afraid of confrontation and it is much easier for them to be passive aggressive. I used to work in an office of all women and this was happening all the time! I am so over drama... just speak the truth (kindly), and move on!
ReplyDeleteMine outlook changed too. You just don't have the patience to deal with such bs. Nice post.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of it is fear of confrontation, but schtuff happens. Talk about it, deal with it and everyone can move on. That's my philosophy both at work and in my personal life! It's important to be able to communicate via another avenue than technology. It's important that sense of communication is not lost. GREAT post!
ReplyDeleteit’s all about just spitting it out! passive agressive was so last year :)
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ReplyDeleteI think some people really have an issue with confrontation, but those are usually not the passive-agressive ones. These people thrive of the drama I think, and they need someone to put them in their place. And you are so right, it is usually the women who act this way. I think if men were to act that like that, the rest of the society would advice them to grow a pair.
ReplyDeleteIt is totally a girl thing. It seems people do it even more so behind a computer screen. So over it. Ignore, hit the x, move on. There are better things to worry about! Getting older teaches you that for sure. Not worth it!
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I talk about this all the time. It's so crazy how peple tip toe around instead of just saying it.
ReplyDeletei see things totally differently since having my son... i have no time for foolishness. i'm with amanda - say it and move forward.
ReplyDeleteI dont know I have always been the one to speak my mind and get in trouble for it, I should probably just throw papers it would get me in less trouble
ReplyDeleteQuality over quantity is right!!
ReplyDeleteI agree...if something is wrong, someone should just say so. People usually end up looking like a big B when they try to be passive aggressive. And yes, it's usually women!
I think with all the things we have now...email, twitter, text, etc. it's not only easier to be passive aggressive, but sometimes things are often taken that way as well. I can't stand it but I always worry if something I said sounded that way!
ReplyDeleteAh, most of the time it is women, what the?? Some girls like the drama. It's just such a waste of time, I am with you!
ReplyDeleteThat's one reason that I love working in the ER...there are lots of men! Haha! Women seem to love work drama. And I definitely think it's a little bit of both, some don't want confrontation, but some like to gossip!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty much a straight shooter, but I choose the time & place that I speak my mind. I don't have time to tiptoe around people nor do I think it's fair to other people to be passive aggressive. And it's not fair to you either because it's miserable when you don't know how to speak your mind!
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of opinions on this topic because I was raised around a LOT of passive aggressive people (that's typical for the South right?! lol) My feelings get so hurt when someone won't just tell me what's going on, it ends up causing more damage in the end!