Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Just Another Day in the Life

When I went to visit my fellow mommy friend Laura last week, we had a discussion on our current life situations and how much everything has changed in just a blink of an eye. In this previous post, I discussed how I am still unsure on how to transfer my strengths into my new role as a SAHM. Laura made a good point when she said that we had been groomed to go to college, and then basically trained to enter the workplace. Those plans all seemed to fall into place pretty easily without much trouble, but now I find myself in "The Great Unknown" as I call it. It's not that I'm what you would call domestically challenged, it's just I don't feel like I'm an all-star in many of my SAHM duties. I feel that I am lacking in excelling in at least one area and that just really rubs me the wrong way. It's not that I completely stink, it's just I kind of feel average. Bleh. Yeah Bleh is the word for it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the mothering part of being a SAHM, and I do think I do a good job in this department. I love my little guy to pieces. It's just all the other stuff that I should be good at like cooking, gardening, or just overall craftiness. When I was a business professional, I had benchmarks and competition that I could measure myself against. Now I don't have those types of comparisons, and my life doesn't just fit into a box or a spreadsheet. Laura put it best when she said that we are just at a point in our lives where we are redefining ourselves. Before in my life, everything fell into place including the SAHM part. I guess my mind just didn't go into much more planning after that. So here I am trying to muddle through to find out...what do I want to be really, really good at? What would I enjoy putting my energy towards? Hopefully I'll have something from the sky hit me in the head to give me a sign. Until then, I will be in limbo as I redefine myself.
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13 comments:

  1. JessMay 3, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    I've been a sahm for 7 years.

    I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up. I still have very few benchmarks for success, or accomplishment.

    I think its pretty normal.to feel the way you do. Welcome.:)

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  2. MeganMay 3, 2011 at 11:20 PM

    I know exactly what you mean! I consider myself to be a great mother, but I'm not into so many of those other "stay at home mom" things, like sewing or craftyness or keeping everything sparkly clean. It is kind of frustrating.

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  3. JessicaMay 4, 2011 at 3:04 AM

    It is a hard transition to make. When I first became a SAHM I had high hopes and planned on doing everything. 2 years later that has all changed but it is okay. I spend time with my kids and I do things that I enjoy. You will figure it out, it just takes time. It's different than the work world because there are no performance evaluations or pay raises.

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  4. Ashley PaigeMay 4, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    This is such a great post- and you're right. I think you hit the nail on the head- when you said that there aren't any "benchmarks" or "yearly reviews" to measure your accountability and your progress as a Mother. I love the mothering part of being a SAHM. It's what has come most naturally to me, aside from being a Nurse. Those are the two easiest jobs that I've ever had. But the domestic half of the SAHM-ing? The cooking and the cleaning? And gosh, forget craftiness.. That? I'm still getting the hang of it. How do women balance it all? I've tried cleaning one room of the house each day.. Cooking? I do out of necessity. But really? I hate it. Haha, some days, I just want to play all day! I had much more passion and drive and motivation to be task-oriented when I was a nurse! What happened??!

    Again, great post.. I'm all about redefining. I guess it's just not going to happen as quickly as I thought! :)

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  5. KimberleeMay 4, 2011 at 10:04 AM

    I think if you put 1000 stay at home moms in one room and asked them to define what a sahm was you would get 1000 different responses. To some it's hanging out with their kids, to some it's making fabulous meals, to others it having a sparkling house and still to others it's crafting cute little wall hangings or sewing all their kids clothes. I think you pick a few things that you excel in and channel your SAHM energy into that. We can't do it all and that's okay. Or at least I can't do it all. :) And I'm learning to accept that.

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  6. AlisonMay 4, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    As long as your son is healthy, happy and well-adjusted, you'd have done a fabulous job. Cooking, cleaning, crafting can all take a backseat to that. At least, that's what I tell my husband :)

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  7. TatianaMay 4, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    The "mom" part is the most important factor in the whole SHM thing. I've been staying at home since Giada was born about 5 months ago, and I swear my house has never been more messy. I hate it too, because I feel like that's one of my main duties, but than I remind myself that really, my main job is to take care of my kiddo, and then I get over it :-)

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  8. the workaholic mommaMay 4, 2011 at 12:52 PM

    Such a great post!!! I often wonder what my life would look like if I wasn't still working but you are such an amzing momma and at the end of the day if nothing else is done but Nolan is happy - you've succeeded :) Hope you're having a great week:)

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  9. ShellMay 4, 2011 at 1:34 PM

    I was definitely not ready for this gig!

    Have you ever seen the Untrained Housewife site? That's her whole premise!

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  10. Cam - Bibs and BaublesMay 4, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    so crazy that I would read this post right now. I just posted something about finding your passion. I'm still trying to find mine. I think it's pretty normal and I think your friend Laura has the right idea. I think we go thru phases. I think it's necessary for change and growth. Just my 3 1/2 cents. :)

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  11. SaraMay 4, 2011 at 10:26 PM

    I have something like 8 seed starter trays, a Rubbermaid bin of yarn, a brand new sewing machine, more kitchen gadgets than I can count, 3 types of laundry detergents, and 4 mops. I have yet to find my niche, lol...

    But, based on your blog, and the happy, happy pictures you take of your family- you are an awesome mom (SAHM or otherwise) and an AMAZING person!!

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  12. NatalieMay 5, 2011 at 7:52 AM

    Thanks everyone for your comments. You are helping me to realize that it's normal to feel this way and that I'm not the only one!

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  13. Mrs. RMay 5, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    I totally get this! I'm not a SAHM but in terms of having my own "thing: or passion...I'm still searching!

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