Many years ago I wrote about how friendships expire and how it's ok if a friend you were once really close to changes to someone you don't talk to anymore. I do truly believe that people come into your lives for a certain purpose or reason.
But what about those friends that are supposed to be your closest?
I've found that the older I get, the less people I can call close friends. Sure I'm fine to catch up and talk to these friends, but the closeness and connection is not the same. Is it sad? Yes but part of life.
However I do find it funny how if you are catching up that some of these friends never really ask you about your life. I always try to make a point to inquire what's going on with their life and children, but I find this is not reciprocated.
I get it, being pregnant with number 3, and even a third boy is not exciting right? Because "oh you are just having another boy," just a normal thing. But seriously I don't expect these friends to bend over backwards as yes I have been down this road before. However I don't think it's too much to ask for a friend to ask how you are feeling and maybe how the boys are reacting. I think that's normal, don't you? I'm surprised that after I ask them how they are doing, I get ZERO questions about myself, my family, or even KMB.
What does this mean? I'm not sure if it means these friends are totally self-absorbed, if they don't care, or if they consider their selves too busy. I just find it a little disheartening that some people won't even give you the time of day, but they can sure talk about what's going on for them.
Do you have people in your lives like this? How do you deal with friends that don't seem concerned for you?
I've found that the older I get, the less people I can call close friends. Sure I'm fine to catch up and talk to these friends, but the closeness and connection is not the same. Is it sad? Yes but part of life.
However I do find it funny how if you are catching up that some of these friends never really ask you about your life. I always try to make a point to inquire what's going on with their life and children, but I find this is not reciprocated.
I get it, being pregnant with number 3, and even a third boy is not exciting right? Because "oh you are just having another boy," just a normal thing. But seriously I don't expect these friends to bend over backwards as yes I have been down this road before. However I don't think it's too much to ask for a friend to ask how you are feeling and maybe how the boys are reacting. I think that's normal, don't you? I'm surprised that after I ask them how they are doing, I get ZERO questions about myself, my family, or even KMB.
What does this mean? I'm not sure if it means these friends are totally self-absorbed, if they don't care, or if they consider their selves too busy. I just find it a little disheartening that some people won't even give you the time of day, but they can sure talk about what's going on for them.
Do you have people in your lives like this? How do you deal with friends that don't seem concerned for you?
Natalie
Those are the "friends" who I don't spend much time with. They're draining.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you and your three boys. You'll love it. <3
I think yes - you're absolutely correct; it's self absorption. However, not necessarily always in the mean spirited or intentionally neglectful way. Sometimes people are just too busy and in that stage of life where they just feel... "Whew!" and no, they don't always consider others. But it's just they are so overwhelmed by their own crap, ya know? Motherhood - especially stay at home moms - can be soooo isolating. Sometimes I find myself so happy to be talking to another adult, that I do forget my manners and get carried away. The trick is finding which friends are just in this place in a temporary way, and which friends truly are just selfish and uncaring. They will reveal it in time.
ReplyDeleteI found a lot of the time, especially as our children age, that it was just simple outgrowing one another. The only thing we really had in common, was that our children were the same age and played together; and that was fine for awhile. But as the years passed, even though the children still played, as I get to know the mom better, I suddenly realize... Wow - I have like ZERO in common with you besides being a mom. I care about you as a human being, but I really just don't find you that interesting to converse with any longer. It sounds really mean -- but it's just honest; and it happens.
And.... I cannot wait to see the 3rd cutie patootie in blue!!! :)
DeleteI hope that all is going well with your and your family.
It's weird. A baby is a baby - a miracle. Would they have acted differently if it's a girl?? So insane. I'm sure I do know people like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm forever fascinated by friendships, how they start, and how they change.
There are definitely ones built to last.