But now as the boys age, I see what life could be like with not having another baby. Right now I have a little more independence than when they were small.
I don't have to worry about breastfeeding--if I need to pump if I am gone too long or if I need to plan my outings around it.
I get more sleep because MOST of the time both boys sleep at night.
I don't worry about their meals as much when they are small. Of course I feed them, but they also can voice to me that they are hungry. As babies, I was worried did they eat enough...are they hungry...will they wake up because they didn't eat enough?
I don't worry as much when I leave the boys with my mother-in-law or my husband at night. When Conley was small, I was the only one who could put him down at night.
My husband and I can start to make plans to go out of town and do small vacations.
I think we can plan to return to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary!
If we have another baby, we would have to delay that trip because not all the kids would be in school. We don't have anyone to take care of them during the day.
But then I think, I DO want to experience the miracle of having another baby.
I DO want to feel those sweet baby kicks and smell that sweet newborn scent.
I DO want to swaddle and rock a baby to sleep.
I DO love the idea of having a larger family.
Natalie
We're struggling with the same thing! I am definitely leaning towards having another, but my husband would be okay with only having Aubrey. We're still working on making that decision!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to know.. there was a while were I thought we were done after our two, we had our boy and girl even, so what was not to be done. For me I just felt that there was one more that needed to be part of our family. That is some of the reason there is a bigger age gap between 2 and 3 then 1 and 2 for me, as for a while I thought maybe 2 was good. And yes it does get nice to get past the baby stage, but I enjoyed Ryder as a baby so much, maybe because my older two were a bit older 3 1/2 and 5 1/2 so they could actually play together while I took care of the baby and really I have loved every stage of life Ryder has gone through while I felt I just endured it at times with the others. So yes, it is nice to get past that baby stage but in truth it will go so fast anyway. In just 8 years I will have a high school graduate! it goes fast. But ultimately it is what you feel is right for your family.
ReplyDeleteWe're kinda debating the same thing right now and I'm only preggo with #2. We're about 80% sure that we're just going to have two so I'm trying to really remember everything about this pregnancy in case it really is my last! I would just say to do what your heart urges you to do! Vacations can always wait a couple more years!
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE to have another child!! I struggle with this daily. But with all of the complications we had just staying pregnant, and then while pregnant with Addison, I know I would be a huge ball of anxiety if I were to ever get pregnant again. And the issues that were apparently the cause for the recurrent pregnancy loss don't go away, so if I were to get pregnant again (and by the grace of God, stayed pregnant), I would most likely be on bed rest & deliver early again. Now that I have Addison at home, I cannot imagine not being able to be here for her if I were in the hospital for 2, 12, or 22 weeks.
ReplyDeleteWe just knew we wanted another. I think your heart will tell you Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you. It's not on my radar much because Des is only one. And with Scarlet, she had to be two before we thought about it. And then it happened fast.
ReplyDeleteI love this life now and I don't want to overwhelm it. I'm 33, so I suppose I have a few more years to wonder.
I miss it all. But I'm afraid to rock this (somewhat) mellow boat.
I thought I was done with two.
ReplyDeleteAfter we made that decision, I started to doubt it was the right one.
If you're asking yourself, then maybe you're not done. :)
I know it's different for everyone, but for me after two I just knew. I never had a doubt that our family was complete. --Lisa
ReplyDeleteOh man, this is something I struggle with as well and I'm just on my first! I want Sawyer to have a sibling and I always loved the idea of a big family-I was thinking 3 or 4 kiddos-but I love sleeping through the night and our routine. It seems so much easier now and I don't know how or when I can add in another or if I really want to anymore.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one! Bradley and I both wanted more children, and even though ours came a lot closer together than we had planned, we still have on the table discussing more. I think the best thing is for you and your hubby to be on the same page. I've heard from other families that they just 'knew' they were done. I don't have that feeling yet, even though we have 4! More has been really fun for us--super hard, don't get me wrong--but I wouldn't want it any other way.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one. We were married for 10 years before I got pregnant the first time. I wanted to have another one but didn't know how long it would take to get pregnant. My oldest two are 22 months apart, a little sooner than I had wanted. I knew I wanted to do it one more time. We had our youngest when I was 36. It was a busy six years but I wouldn't change a thing, except get pregnant earlier and have one more if I would have gotten pregnant sooner. This I know for sure...my youngest turns 18 soon. It flew by!
ReplyDeleteIf you find the answer, let me know! We are in the exact same debate. I keep falling back on something someone said to me, "You will never regret having another child, but you may regret not."
ReplyDeleteI just knew. Like Michelle said, your heart will tell you. Although I have to say that the math does not add up - 1 plus 2 feels like a lot more than 3 on most days - but I would not trade it for anything.
ReplyDeletewe thought we were quite content with two. We got one of each, why rock the boat?
ReplyDeleteI had loved the idea of a large family, but since I didn't start until 33 and I was 38 years with two.
And then we discovered that the pill completely messed up my body and we had nothing else and hubby said "what are the odds just one time" ......and God laughed and laughed. And baby #3 was made. LOL
And we didn't mind one bit at all. Otherwise, I am sure that "one time" would have been, "ah, let's just watch a movie instead." So.....what Alison said: you're heart will tell you and you'll probably opt to go to "sleep" instead of watching the movie. :)
I struggle with this question all the time. I only have one son, a five year-old, and sometimes I wish to have another. I loved being pregnant, and I absolutely loved taking care of my baby boy. At the same time though, I am almost 40, and I wonder if I will have enough energy to keep up with two. Even more, I have gotten used to my son's independence as I no longer have to worry about him sleeping through the night, potty training, etc. etc. Also, would he be close to his sibling now that there would be so many years difference? I'm torn like you. I'm sure you'll listen to your heart and find the best answer for you...
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty common dilemma, isn't it? Now that I and most of my friends are in our 30's, the question of 'How many kids are we meant to have?' is a regular one.
ReplyDeleteWhen Cory and I were dating, he always said he wanted four kids. I told him he better find a different gf then! ;o) After we got married and he saw how much work a toddler was, he started singing a different tune. For a few years we thought we might have another, but we were still so young. {When Lex was 2, I was still only 20 years old.} Now that we're finally at a normal age to have kids, Lexie's practically a teenager. It would be odd to add to our family at this point. So I believe we are going to be a "one-and-done" family!
The moment my son (#2) was placed in my arms, I knew our famly was complete. You will just know. If you're questioning it, you need to explore that.
ReplyDeleteWe are going through the same thing. We have 2 kids and I wonder if we're meant to have a 3rd. Both my kids are in school now so I get quiet time. I wouldn't have as much of that with a baby. I just have to decide if I have the patience.
ReplyDeleteWe always said we wanted three kids and now having two we are definitely "comfortable". Life is great and wonderful and the more we delay this kind of decision the harder it gets.
ReplyDeleteI knew I wasn't done whenever I looked at pregnant women and felt my heart wanting to burst. And that was just a month after baby #3 was born! Now? I don't have that feeling, just glad I'm done with the nausea and pains of pregnancy. Maybe it's just too soon to tell, so who's to say in time to come? ;)
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted a big family! I agree with the others, you'll know when you're done ya know? :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so hard sometimes but for me it was easy. I always wanted 3 and thankfully that is what I have. Of course there are many things to consider... I will tell you this - we had considered going to Europe for our 10th anniversary and instead we had a baby a month before... ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe decision to have a third child was a tough one for us. After all, with two there is someone for everyone. With three, you are outnumbered.=) For me, I was afraid if I didn't have a third I would someday (when it was too late) wish I had. My hubby needed more time to decide.We prayed about it a lot! I always told him that we would never regret having another one but we may look back and wish we had. So we did. I am not gonna lie, going from 2 to 3 was a much harder adjustment then going from 1 to 2 but I cannot imagine our live without our third boy! Such a gift! =) I definitely think it is a hard decision. I recently had a hysterectomy and was so afraid that I would regret it and wish I had another. But just before the surgery, I started to realize I wasn't longing for a new baby but for my babies to be little. It goes tooooo fast!!
ReplyDeleteYou two make beautiful babies and whatever you decide you are BLESSED for sure!!