Now that the secret is out about baby #2 joining our family in August I am calling in you mommy experts for some advice. Here are some questions that swim through my brain and cause me not to lose sleep. Many of you are parents to multiple children, so I want to see how you do it...and maybe just maybe it will give me faith that I can too!
1) How do you leave the house with a brand new baby and a toddler? Right now I don't let Nolan walk in stores and etc. because the child will take off as he pleases. So he's either in a cart, a stroller, or my arms. So obviously with a new baby this becomes more difficult. How do you go to the store and run every day errands?
2) Obviously the baby will sleep a lot more than the toddler does. How do you manage to keep the toddler from waking the baby?
3) How do you keep your energy up for the toddler when the baby has kept you up most of the night?
4) How do you even blog???? :)
5) Is it possible to prepare dinner in a timely manner?
6) How do you make sure the toddler is getting enough attention?
I think these are my starter questions...I know I have tons more, but I haven't had enough coffee. And YES I do still drink coffee while pregnant. :) Just one cup though!
I can't wait to star this post and all the responses you get to hopefully use for my own benefit one day!
ReplyDeleteYou can do this girl. God chose you for a reason for these two little people!
(In other news, are you able to email back to this comment or does it say no reply?)
Have a great Monday!
... Please let me know when you figure all of those out because I wonder the exact same things. LOL!
ReplyDeleteAww you'll figure all this out! Hopefully some mamas will come share all their wisdom :) happy monday!
ReplyDeleteI have the same questions!
ReplyDeleteMany moms I've talked to tell me they just do it. They just manage, because they have to.
For my own solutions - here's what I plan (key word being plan):
- Going out with toddler + baby. Try not to do it by myself until the baby is at least 2 months old. Toddler should be 2 1/2 by then and I should be able to talk to and reason with him then. I also plan to wear the baby in a Moby wrap which will leave my hands free.
- Blogging time. Not going to stress this. Will write when I can. Probably at night when everyone's asleep, and snatch time here and there.
Don't worry, you've got this!
My SIL has four kids (9, 7, almost 3, and 7 weeks). She said the first six weeks of any baby's life are the worst and she feels like crumbling, After that she said it gets easier. I know she also only uses a Moby wrap for the baby, so the Lizzie (3) can go in the cart, hold her hand, etc. She also told me that the younger ones were better nappers b/c they slept thru whatever noise the older ones made, she just tries to keep them away from the nursery with the noise as much as possible.
ReplyDeleteIt is somewhat true that You Just Do. That sounds trite, but the truth is, I believe God gave us moms some miraculous inner strength and ability to function on less than 3 hours of sleep. It's the only possible reason I can find for surviving those early weeks after adding baby #2, then again with baby #3.
ReplyDeleteBasically, I'd say Trial and Error: you'll find what works for your family. Definitely recommend baby wearing if you can do that. Definitely recommend NOT doing too much within those first 6 weeks. Your body and your new baby need that time. No one ever died because they had to live on grilled cheese, or peanut butter and jam sandwhiches, grapes and Goldfish crackers for a spell. You just have to learn to let some things go till you've got firm ground under you again.
Outings: toddler/older child MUST obey mommy. It's as simple as that. Establish it right from the start. I've left a cart full of groceries, play dates, daddy has sat in the car while mommy and baby finished meals at restaurants - whatever it took to teach compliance. Especially if you are nursing....a bit hard to chase fleeing toddler if baby attached to nipple.
One tip: for grocery store visits, if child is old enough they can read the shopping list and help. At the very least, they can help put things in the cart. If too young, mine had to hold onto the side of the shopping cart. If they let go and run off - we go. Which means no Frosted Flakes. Even a toddler gets that.
Sleep: I have a period of "quiet time" during the day for older, non-napping kids. In fact, I insist. Other than that, the baby does learn to sleep through most noise. And you can usually get them on the same schedule if you are lucky enough to have 2 nappers. This is the one area where you will probably have to learn as you go - find what works best. We have a small bungalow, so play area is in basement, which puts a buffer between older children and napping baby.
Most of all remember, accept help and ask for help if you need it. Don't sink! You know we are here and willing to help!
Babywearing will hopefully be a solution to needing more hands...
ReplyDeleteI have no experience obviously but wearing J now allows me to handle my dogs and my mom.
If the baby gets used to the noises of the toddler right from the start, there won't even be a wake-up issue.
ReplyDeleteI used a double stroller when they were really little. It saved my life!
I think about all this too. Hope you get some good advice. And I'm sure I'll be following along to see what tips you have once the baby gets here!
ReplyDeleteNatalie...first you rock as a mom so you will do great!
ReplyDeleteYou will be a bit tired in the beginning but, you will find your groove. Once you get on a routine, you feel so much better.
Going out at first is easy because the baby sleeps all the time. Now, we go out when Eli is changed fed and happy and hopefully before a nap time. But, that doesn't always happen.
We just got the sit and stand stroller which might be perfect for you on runs to like Target. Baby can stay in seat and Nolan can sit or stand. As far as grocery stores go, that is a bit harder. Will walks with me, Nolan is too young to do that. So usually, I go to the grocery store with just one of them.
You can see where my blogging went...I try and do it when Will is at school and Eli is sleeping. Or at night when both babes are sleeping.
I'd say sleep when they sleep but usually you will find something you "think" you must do. In the beginning I took naps when my husband was home. When he was back at work, I went to bed when both boys went to bed. Now that we have a little routine down, I stay up to have couple time, even if it means being a little tired in the a.m.
You will definitely find your way. To me, a routine definitely helps you feel like you can get things done though.
Hope this isn't too overwhelming! So happy for you!!!
My kids are 5 1/2 years apart so I don't have much advice for you other than you will figure it all out. It's a struggle at first but you will get through it.
ReplyDelete1) The infant carrier car seat is a life savor for this-- I would put the whole infant seat in the shopping cart and the toddler in the seat. So yes, leaves very little room for stuff so you just have to do small trips and save the big trips for when daddy is home and you can just go on your own.
ReplyDelete2) & 3) shows-- I know sad-- but I never used to let my first watch shows, but when I was pregnant and so tired- this is when shows began. Plus, with your first you worry so much about it being quiet since baby is napping- you will soon learn the second is (out of necessity) so much more adaptable and can sleep through almost anything.
4) Yea- that might diminish for a while until you can figure out a good routine. When baby is sleeping and toddler is doing activity/watching show you can at least write a post- so you can continue to document life- but forget about and don't worry about responding back to other blogs as much
5) No --hehe um prepare things ahead, maybe even on Sunday night, chop the vegetables, get things together for different meals-- learn to love a crockpot and use it a lot as you never know what is going to happen around dinner time
6) don't worry- they will let you know if they aren't getting enough attention. try and let them help with the baby- i.e they can go get a diaper for you, go get the babies blanket to bring to you, make them feel like a special helper on a special mission and point out how happy it is making the baby and how much the baby loves them. While you are feeding the baby you can always read stories and just make sure to hand the baby to daddy and just totally 100% play every once in a while with the toddler.
Mostly remember, they will adapt, we all do the best we can and you are an awesome mother and will totally be able to do it.
and congrats!!!!
I would have the same questions! I have an only, so I don't have answers for you, except that hopefully by the time the baby is here running errands with you, Nolan will be that much older and able to stay with you and listen to, relatively, most of what you are telling him!
ReplyDeleteNatalie you are going to do just fine! We all manage it with no prior training. I guess it will come down to trial and error, amazingly (and you will see) that it all just comes naturally.
ReplyDeleteIf you have a crock pot, get dinner started early in the day, throw it all in and let the pot do the rest.
Surprisingly enough, babies do sleep through the noise of other children, vaccuum cleaners etc.
Put Nolan into the stroller first then get baby out of the car, seeing as Nolan is the one that will be able to run away :) Or try and stock up initially either at night or on weekends when your husband is home to save going to the store.
As you know, babies sleep alot, so during that time play with Nolan and then don't feel guilty for the lack of attention when the newborn is up and feeding. Toddlers love 'me time' anyway, give him a bucket of toys he's never seen before during those times, even things from your kitchen like spatulas etc, I know it doesn't sound exciting but it will be a distraction to him for a bit. And the TV, do not feel guilty!!
Do not attempt to have a tidy house, accept help from others, speak up if you're not feeling right, most importantly.
Maybe the night before, prepare Nolan's snacks in a lunch box, fill up his drinks etc. Make life as easy as possible for yourself and before you know it, you'll have the hang of it!!
We're all here for you xo
It's an adjustment, but it will just fall into place. You'll start a new routine, a new way of doing things, and it will be okay. I had these same fears when my youngest was born. He was only 13 months younger than his brother. I panicked. But honestly, it works out.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some mommy advice for you! I know you'll figure it out as you go and be an awesome mommy of two!
ReplyDeleteLots of coffee and fake it till you make it. And you are rther awesome Natalie, keep it up!
ReplyDeleteObviously I'm not an expert, but we are starting to practice letting Grayson walk more and hold our hands. I know there will be times when I won't need a stroller and I don't want to hold a baby AND a toddler. He loves walking everywhere and has been really good about holding my hand & not trying to run off in the opposite direction.
ReplyDeleteSurely we can do this, right?!? :)
Great questions, but everything falls into place and you don't even realize how! :) The babies and toddlers are so resilient. The newborn sleeps through everything, even toddler meltdowns.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly enough, taking care of the newborn is much easier than taking care of the toddler! :) Although I still struggle with the answer to #6!
aw Natalie I'm sure you will figure these things out! Since I have no kiddos I have no advice except that I'm sure you will find the time and energy for Nolan even when you're busy with the new baby. You're such a good momma!
ReplyDeleteNatalie,
ReplyDeleteEchoing what everyone says, it will just come naturally to you. My little boy is almost 19 months, and my little girl is almost 7 weeks....it's hectic and crazy, but also such a fun time.
When we go shopping, I either use one if this double carts where Grayson can sit in the front seat and I can put Finnley in the actual seat of the cart. Of course, I feel like I'm driving a semi, but at least there's room for everything and everyone. Otherwise, I put the carrier in the basket of the cart, Grayson in the seat, and just stuff things wherever they fit in and under the cart! :)
Nolan will definitely let you know I'd he's not getting enough attention. When Finnley is awake, he will help me with her and even tries to play with her. We read books all together or play with toys in front of her. He cracks up when she does tummy time,..you will fine things that work for y'all. When the baby sleeps, really up the one-on-one time. Also, to save your sanity, try to get them on a similar nap schedule. In our house, they nap at the same time, which allows me to do the things I need to get done....lie SLEEP!! Sometimes I'll use that time to clean or make meals I can freeze, but I don't put too much pressure on myself. I usually end up watching tv and blogging. :)
The baby will sleep through the screaming. Ha! Grayson will yell at the top of his lungs right next to her in the car and she doesn't even flinch. As our doc said, she moved into our house, we didn't move into hers, so we just go about our daily routine, noise ams all, while she sleeps.
Basically, just do what comes naturally for you and your family. Every situation is different. And, I've learnes, so is each kid. What worked for Nolan may not work for the new baby, bit that's the fun of 2!! It's definitely always an adventure!!
Congrats to you guys!!!!! So happy for your family. :)
1. You go every day. I'd put PJ in the part of the cart he sits in and the baby in the big part in the car seat adn just get a few things. Or I'd wear Maggie and put PJ in the cart.
ReplyDelete2. Babies learn to sleep through noise. Maggie did. I just tried to keep PJ away from her room or wherever she was sleeping.
3. You just do. :)
4. I didn't. Not really. I got super into blogging once I came back to work with Mags.
5. Yup, at the newborn phase Mags almost always napped around dinner making time. If she didn't, I made sure she was fed before I started, then put her in the bouncer in the kithcen with me.
6. Always have a little me & mommy time everyday. Even if it's just 5 minutes.
I have always given first preference to the oldest.. catering to their very whim...even 18 month olds get sick of a baby crying so finally ask you to take care of the baby first....works almost every time...and then they are never jealous of the new baby because they gave you the permission . good luck..it is hard juggling two!!
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish I could help you. I have just the one child and always wonder how my SuperMom friends survive more than one. I have a couple with three - one in particular who is very Martha-Stewart-esque in her ability to not just survive but thrive gracefully. I should get her to guest post... but I digress. One thing I do know from vast other challenging experiences is that we handle whatever comes our way. You'l find a groove that works for you. Smart to ask for advice!
ReplyDeleteI have no experience yet but I am sure you will manage. You will surely find a system that works for the whole family. You can do this! =)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!! I'm so excited for you!!! Looks like you got some great advice too.
ReplyDeleteWhen I NEEDED to go the grocery store I just put the baby's car seat inside the cart, though you can't get quite as many groceries that way. And having a double stroller was a big help for me also!
You'll find the right ways that work for you. Having two may even be easier. :)
It was nice to read through these answers, because I think about these things all the time too. What gives me hope is how much I questioned how I would manage with one back when I was pregnant with Cam, and I figured it out, so I am sure with some trial and error and lots of exhaustion and frustration, I will get the hang of dealing with two too!
ReplyDeleteI'll answer number 2...it's amazing what babies can and do sleep through. My friend has 4 kids all under the age of 6. Her baby sleeps through screaming, yelling, crying etc. Congratulations!!
ReplyDeleteThese are ALL questions/concerns that I have too! I am just planning on the fact that I probably won't leave the house for the first year! haha!
ReplyDelete