Constantly these questions run through my head...
Did I teach my toddler anything new today?
Shouldn't I be doing some crafty Pinterest project so he learns more?
Am I spending enough one-on-one time with each boys?
Am I am teaching and challenging them enough?
Shouldn't I try some new creative meals?
When am I going to deep-clean this house?
Shouldn't I do more hobbies for myself?
But if I do more hobbies, doesn't that mean I am taking time away from the boys?
When am I going to workout?
Am I spending enough time with my husband?
Do I waste my time online?
Shouldn't I be planning cute ideas for the upcoming 3rd birthday party?
Shouldn't I be getting more sleep?
And it continues...my to-do list, the mom guilt, the wife guilt. Does it ever end?
Why as mothers do we put these high expectations on being everything to everyone all the time?
When are we enough?
Natalie
I think it is very telling and significant that fathers are not running down this daily litany in their heads.
ReplyDeleteI mean...are their heads truly empty?? ha no, I guess they have their own checklist - but still, it doesn't seem so intense and worrisome as what we mothers put ourselves through. I think all we have to worry about in term of "enough" (aside from the necessities of life) is Love. Kids know when they are loved - and I think they will remember that more than how many times we played play-doh with them.
I ask myself the same questions all the time. I feel the pressure to do something with each boy all their waking hours. But I know, I KNOW, deep down inside that they can and should entertain themselves and each other. They don't need crafts or lessons every single minite. They can and should just be allowed to play. And I too, am allowed that time to play. Do something for myself.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts today, Natalie! I ask myself these often - except the deep-cleaning part. I KNOW that one will never happen. ;o)
ReplyDeleteI think we are often our own worst enemies. No one puts more pressure than on me than myself!
ReplyDeleteMy gut tells me never. I wish we all gave ourselves the credit and validation we so willingly give others. Great post Natalie.-Ashley
ReplyDeleteLove this. I'll admit I'm really hard on myself and bad at the self comparing with social media. It's just so hard not to in our world and I'm already competitive by nature! :)
ReplyDeleteI often ask myself these same questions over and over again. I have found, though, that I have set unrealistic expectations for myself. It's ok to leave the laundry in the basket while playing tea party and if we eat the same meals every week, at least I know the family enjoys them. Well, that's what they tell me anyway. Ha! It's so hard not to play the comparison game too, especially in the world we live in today!
ReplyDeleteWhew.... I can already relate to a bunch of those questions and my son is only 7 months old! Eckkk... Hopefully there's a balance to all of this!
ReplyDeleteThere's no way we can do it all. I hate the pressure we put on ourselves to even try.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Shell. There is no way we can do it all. I think if we're all doing the best we can in any given moment, then we ARE enough!
ReplyDeleteI think there's no way I can ever do it all, or even half of it. At the end of the day, the kids have my full attention and they go to bed happy. And yeah...then I feel better about the hours on Pinterest/Facebook/Blogging!
ReplyDeleteI find it so easy to look at so many mothers and women that I admire and tell them to "stop it! You are enough - you are better than enough! You are the best!!" But then I beat myself down. I could be better, I could be more, I could do more.... It's a bad game we play as mothers:(
ReplyDeleteI feel this same way every single day. I try and remind myself that if I'm happy and my kids are happy...that's all that matters! You and those boys seem so happy, so you must be doing something right!
ReplyDeletePeople often say to me something like "just because you are questioning it means you are enough...". And it's true. You are no matter how the birthday party turns out or the fact that you didn't clean the toilet today. (p.s. I didn't either!) ;) You ARE enough because you LOVE them. xo
ReplyDeleteI think it is because I wants for much for my son. I know I can't do it all, but I sure do want the best for him.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I ask myself those exact questions every.single.day. And I don't have an answer for you! It is ridiculous the amount of pressure we put on ourselves! At least I know I'm not alone! :)
ReplyDeleteSo so true! We really do seem to do this to ourselves but I am learning more and more that it is the simple things, just the time together that my kids remember most.
ReplyDeleteAll you can do is your best. If you do your best, it's enough! I hope you are able to stop feeling guilty soon :)
ReplyDeleteHa...I just wrote a long comment and then accidentally clicked sign out instead of publish. Maybe it's a little too early to be commenting :) Anyway, the gist of it was - I think all moms feel this way and at least we are there to support each other!
ReplyDeleteYes, I have these same thoughts. Every night I wonder if I could've done more. Even when I am exhausted from a full day of trying to do everything!
ReplyDeleteI feel like I've seen this sentiment floating around the blog world so much lately and I guess with kids around the same age. I don't want to sell myself short but I also know that this is a stage. These little people will be big before we know it. I don't want to have regrets and yes, some days are better than others. Some days I just feel like I totally fail but I keep telling myself through the struggle to give what I can of myself right now and focus at the end of the day on the fruits of that giving whether the toddler learned something new or the baby smiled so much at me. I love that you put this out there for so many moms to identify with.
ReplyDeleteUgh...I know the feeling. Some days I feel like I need a couple of clones of me.
ReplyDeletexo
I always ask myself this. I don't understand why I am so much harder on myself. I think it is a daily struggle.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm new here, but you hit the nail on the head with this one, Natalie! I do this all day long. Saying yes to one thing means saying no to fifty other really good things. All necessary. All valuable. All important in the scope of "Good Mommy" world, but really... why can't we be happy in the moment with the thing we choose instead of worrying more about the fifty things we didn't? Ugh... You are enough! :)
ReplyDelete-Jenny