My sweet, loving boy has become a "no" boy.
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Literally he says "no" to all kinds of things and in the most hateful manner.
He seriously sounds like a teenager talking back...I really thought I had a some more years before we reached this stage.
While we were at the grocery store, he yelled out and emptied out one of the bags in the cart as we were leaving.
At nap time, he slapped me on my shoulder, and said he didn't want to nap.
"NO I don't want to," and "NO I can't" are the most common phrases that come out of his mouth.
It's really like it happened overnight. He's constantly testing me about EVERYTHING....and even the easiest of tasks or a meal have become a battle.
Where did my sweet boy go?
I realize he's finding his independence, and I try to keep my cool (very difficult at times), and we have been doing a lot of time outs. I always follow through with the consequences because I know that's crucial when he's testing these boundaries. I just hate that we spend so much time focusing on the negative.
Two was pretty easy with this boy....but the three's are going to give me a run for my money.
Have you been dealing with the "no's" too?
Natalie
Keira has been acting the same way lately. I hate focusing on all the negative with time outs and stuff but I'm all about discipline right away when my girls back talk or tell me no.
ReplyDeleteOh hon, three is far more challenging than two!
ReplyDeleteI have always believed that it isn't the two's we should all be worried about, it's the three's!! Speaking from experience here, and don't worry, you will survive it. You'll feel a little older and worse for wear but you will survive ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm amused the photo has the train piece with the name "Cranky" - rather appropriate. ;) Twos were a breeze. Threes we found to be more of a challenge as we were met with the resistance of an independent toddler/preschooler. And now we've entered the fours and I had hoped for better but this last weekend had both of us nearly wringing his neck. Hoping it was the rainy weather. We also stick with following through with consequences. I think that's key although it definitely doesn't stop the drama, but at least he seems to get now that his actions influence whether he'll get to do certain things.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't even noticed Cranky being in the photo until you said that!
Deleteyou are not alone, momma!
ReplyDeletetheir independent spirits make for long days sometimes, but I keep telling myself, "this, too, shall pass".
hugs.
we will survive.
and, so will they ;)
Yep Josie's favorite word is no too! It really makes you appreciate the good moments, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteTwo was easy for us, at least compared to what people described. Three was very hard. And now four, which is supposed to bring sweet relief, is worse than three! I suppose it's individual personality and circumstance so don't be alarmed. For some, five is terrible. For me, nothing until 14. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteYes, the independence stage. You'll master it soon, and he'll know who is boss ;)
ReplyDeleteI sure hope so!
DeleteThis is so, so common I feel. Hang in there! Plus side? Smart, independent kids (the kind of kids that we want to be mamas too) are the ones that challenge. So I suppose that's the silver lining? Just be strong, be consistent, and be as calm as you can (and make sure you have a good glass of wine at the end of the night in front of your favorite TV show).
ReplyDeleteHa - love that you pictured him with Cranky the Crane. perfect picture to go with the post.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's funny you mention 3s being harder than 2s, because that's exactly what I found too.
But you're doing the absolute best thing by being consistent. With all three of mine, it felt like it was just discipline and time outs All Day Long for months -- but it does eventually pay off.
I found that by letting them have a little bit of control over some things in their day helped reduce the battles. For instance, let them choose their clothes - even if the outfit is crazy. Let them decide one meal in the day; or say the side that goes with the main dish. You can give option still: rice, pasta or potato?
They are exploring their independence and discovering they do have a voice: which is normal. It's our job to set the parameters, and giving them a bit of decision making power will teach them how to make the Right decisions later.
Just stay the course mama - the seas ahead are less rough! :)
I knew his crane was in the photo but didn't realize that the name Cranky was in view...it is quite appropriate! Setting the parameters is hard work isn't it?
DeleteIt was around three that my boys discovered the power of "No" as well. It does get better. It seems to come in stages for us. :)
ReplyDeleteMeyer told me "NO" for the first time the other day and I almost hit the floor! These boys...I think the 3's are going to be challenging! I'm glad we can go through it together:)
ReplyDeleteYes we will definitely be swapping notes!
DeleteYou already know, I'm right there with you. Just a request to use the potty can trigger a meltdown with my son. Three is a beast.
ReplyDeleteOh it is and wonderful that it coincides with potty training, no?
DeleteOne of my husband's relatives told us after our baby was born, "NEVER use the word "NO" to your child, because then he will use it forever on you." Uhhhh, yeah, I don't see that happening though. Lol
ReplyDeleteWell, my 2 year old still doesn't talk (which is a whole different story), but if he could? He'd be saying no all the time. And he's not sweet about it either. Since he doesn't talk, he very rudely pushes me away if he basically wants to say no. I've been through it with the first two, though I swear the second one was just good all the time, so I know it passes, but it doesn't make it any easier right now!
ReplyDeleteJust keep reminding yourself, "This too shall pass"... and it will. And when you feel like it's all under control, they stop doing it and start with a new problem! But you keep repeating, "This too shall pass." Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteoh that phase is so tough! My 2 cents (if you want them).. be firm and stay calm.. it will pass. Give him choices when you can. Something like do you want carrots or cucumbers with your lunch. That way you get him out of the habit of saying no. I hope that helps :-)
ReplyDeleteWell, since I'm the grandma now I can just give in..but I try not to. I know it's important for them to get the same message from everyone. I would say the two's were harder for my kids but my three year old (almost 4) granddaughter is very strong willed and has been in this stage for a couple of years now. ☆
ReplyDeleteI am going through the same exact thing with Kendra. She is always saying No and so vehemently. She has become so independent and testy. Definitely fearful of teenage years and hormones.
ReplyDeleteYep as I commented on FB- totally have gone through this with the 3's, they really truly seem to be worse than the 2's
ReplyDeleteIt really is just pretty awful when you are in it- but as long as you are consistent, try and point out the good as much as possible, you will get through it as it is a phase.
I remember with Lucas it was like one day it snapped on and after a year one day it just magically seemed to snap off.
You're at 93 likes now. ;)
ReplyDeleteYAY! :)
DeleteOh my gosh we are having HORRIBLE disobedience issues and tantrums here. It's "I want this, no I don't want it, yes I want it" and then awful piercing screaming. I don't know if it's new baby, terrible twos or a little of both but I have no idea what to do. And I get the whole "No, I don't want to" too. Complete defiance over here. I totally get how you feel.
ReplyDeleteUgh welcome to my life. It's been crazy around here. Tantrums like I've never seen. Good luck! Time to practice taking deep breaths!
ReplyDeleteYou'll get through this! It might be hard on you to give him time outs, but it would be harder on you if he was out of control! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. I agree with everyone else that threes were way worse than the two for us. It does get better and I know that at the end of the day you sit down and feel sad for all of the discipline. Again--you are not alone and you are doing a great job whether you feel like it or not.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I do around here that is easy and seems to work (sometimes) is "Caught ya bein' good" charts. So basic but it does bring in some more positive reinforcement.
http://messagesfromthemuellers.blogspot.com/2012/06/caught-ya-being-good.html
Throw in some fast earned stickers to get him going by "catching" a sweet tone of voice for anything or "catch" him not saying no even just once. Basic and effective. Just a simple idea. As with any and everything-- all these little guys are so different so I have to try lots of things. =)
Oh man! I'm sorry! He'll come back. I'm thinking for sure by age 4. That's when my older son my the switch back to an easy kid. :) Good luck!
ReplyDelete